May 2, 2006

My body is a wonderland confusing place

Posted in TTC woes at 11:12 am by Erin

12dpo.  Spotted at 9dpo.  Spotted a little bit more at 10dpo.  Stopped by noon of that day.  Have barely seen any pink since then.

I bought the death-knell to all pregnancy hopes: a pack of pregnancy tests!  And took one.  Of course, it was negative.  Oddly, no depression.  More of an "all right, already, let’s get this show on the road and get on to the next cycle!"

Damn it, just when I think I have my body figured out–spotting at 9dpo, heavier each day until AF shows–it goes and changes things on me.

Whee, the joy of TTC.

***********************************

Thanks to all of you for your comments and support while dealing with our families about adoption.  It’s definitely those we care about who can hurt us the most–I wish they realized that and were a little more sensitive.  Infertility is hard enough.  Dealing with those responses has just made things more painful than they already were.

It’s made me come to some painful realizations about our families–they’re not as supportive as I thought they were.  They don’t see J and I as adults who have come to this decision with a lot of information and soul-searching.  They feel like their opinions should have as much weight as they did when we were still children living at home; instead of realizing that we are our own family now, making decisions for our family.  Their opinions are secondary.  Maybe they’ll come around to it.  I can only hope so, as I can’t imagine our children having grandparents who don’t love them equally.  Because I can’t imagine having to accept that we’re not going to have any more biological children, embarking on the difficulties of international adoption, and restricting ties to family who aren’t supportive all at once.  It’s too much to think about.

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