May 26, 2007

Nerves of steel!

Posted in The musings of Erin at 3:06 pm by Erin

J and I have decided that, barring unforeseen circumstances, we’ll be moving sometime next year.  We work 10 minutes apart and drive 45+ minutes each way in rush-hour traffic.  Due to our totally off work schedules, we can’t even carpool (and don’t even get me started on how guilty I feel about wasting that much gas)!  Next year, P will be in daycare right next to my college instead of next to our house, so either J or I will have him in the car for that whole long drive also.  It just makes sense for us to move over there.  We’d love to do it sooner but don’t think it’s feasible, given the adoption.  Actually, we’d love to do it before the adoption, but that’s totally impossible.  So next summer it will probably be.

We’d moved 4 times in the first 4 years and 3 months of our marriage.  When we bought our house, I swore to J that I wasn’t moving again for at least 5 years.  Next September will be 5 years in this house.  Close enough.  I will miss my neighborhood terribly, though.  I love it here.  It’s as close to the Leave it to Beaver type of neighborhood as can be.  And my greenhouse, which is finally done (after 2 years)!  Remind me to post pictures of my gardening attempts!

Therefore, we’ve got a year to get the house in shape to hit the spring/summer selling season.  The first thing to do is to get rid of junk.  Most of it is stored in the basement, and the biggest part of it is baby equipment.  I think we’re going to get rid of almost all of it.  Swing, baby toys, most of the baby clothes, high chair, bathtub, Exersaucer, travel system, etc.  It’s big and huge, and it’s been sitting there since P last used it.

At first, I wanted to keep it.  We’ll do IVF in the future, I’m sure of it, and hopefully we’ll have another baby.  It made sense to keep it if we were staying here, because why not?  We have the room for it.  We’ll probably use it again and if not, we could get rid of it later.  Then there was the amazing sentimental value of it.

Then I started thinking about it.  Every time I go down there, it makes me sad to see it just sitting there.  We used the travel system maybe twice because it was so big and bulky–why keep it, when we wouldn’t use that even with another baby?  The Exersaucer was old when we bought it for $5 at a consignment sale, and I’d rather buy a new one anyway.  The high chair is just a huge waste of space–one that straps onto a regular chair works much better anyway.  The clothes…well, we could have a girl.  I’m not at all averse to dressing a girl in "boy" clothes, but my MIL will buy us so much that it won’t be necessary anyway.  And if we have another boy, shopping for baby clothes is one of my greatest pleasures!

The sentiment doesn’t seem to be in place much today.  I think that, right now, I just want it gone.  Part of it is because it’s taking up space.  We’d just have to move it to a storage facility while trying to sell the house, then into the new house anyway.  What a waste of time and energy.  Part of it is because it’s a reminder that a lot of it has been down there for over 3 years already, and we’d long ago expected to be using it for another baby.  Part of it is because then I’ll have an excuse to buy new if we need it.  And part is because if we don’t ever need it, I think it would be far more painful to have to get rid of it after a final crushing BFN.

So I’m going to spend this coming week in my basement, cleaning and scrubbing and assembling baby equipment so that I can take pictures.  I’ll probably sell most online but if you know me in person and need anything, you’re welcome to it for free.  Just give me a call and let me know so I don’t list it.  I’m getting rid of anything appropriate for a baby under a year old.  Maybe even 18 months.

I know me.  If I do it quickly and don’t let myself think about it, I can do it.  It’s like pulling off a bandage–if you do it quickly, it doesn’t hurt as much.  But if I let myself think about it, I won’t do it.  I won’t allow myself to look at pictures of P playing with them, or eating in the highchair.  Otherwise, we’ll be moving them next year and I’ll be kicking myself.


1 Comment »

  1. My Reality said,

    Good luck with the getting rid of stuff! I have been doing it for the past 4 weekends and think I have another 2 to go.

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