September 4, 2007

Tick, tock, tick, tock

Posted in All ahead to adoption at 7:28 pm by Erin

We requested information on a waiting child the other day; however, we found out today that his information is already being reviewed by another family. They will only share the information with one family at a time, so we’re discussing things. I told the remarkable Amanda that I had the strangest feeling of something being *right* with this profile. She gave me chills with her answer: "That feeling you are having is no accident…something big is just around the corner." Then they told us that the profile was already being reviewed. I thought all weekend that if we couldn’t look at it for some reason, I’d be sad.  And yet, that feeling that we’re standing on the edge of something remains.  I much prefer that to the sadness, fear, and depression that I felt so recently.

There were two other boys who we initially thought fell within our age range, so we thought we might look at them. But, because I don’t know how to add or subtract, it turns out that they were less than a year younger than P (one was 9 months younger and one was 10 months). We thought about it briefly and were OK with it at first, because their birthdays are far enough apart that they’d be in different grades in school, then we reconsidered. Our agency prefers at least a year apart–I don’t think they would mind so much with a toddler adoption, since P will likely be 4 when his little brother comes home and 4 and 3 are very different than if we’d been caring for a 1-year-old and a newborn.  But we both feel a little more comfortable with having our boys slightly further apart in age, so we’ve decided not to request information on them. 

That was a hard decision to make.  It felt like we were consigning them to waiting longer.

There is another little boy on the list, though. His birthday is right before J’s, which would be a lovely addition to our whole family having birthdays between November and January. He’ll be 2 in November. If the other family accepts a referral for the first little boy, we may request his information.  Developmentally, he’s on target.  There’s a medical issue to consider–if it’s minor, we can deal with it.  If it’s major, we don’t feel ready to handle it.  We know generally what the issue is but won’t know the severity unless we request his file.  The profile also said something about a special background circumstance which would be discussed with prospective adoptive parents who request his information, so we’ll need to consider that as well.

Right now, we feel more comfortable waiting and seeing if the other family decides to adopt the first little boy. But it feels much better to be waiting from the point of having all our clearances approved and our dossier done than it did in June.



  1. JJ said,

    You all have come such a long way–this part must be so nerve wracking-but I have no doubt that the little one that is meant for you all will fill your hearts with so much peace and joy!

  2. flygirl said,

    That’s disappointing to be sure. It must be so hard to make these decisions.

  3. Krista said,

    How exciting, I can’t wait to hear more about him.

  4. GZ said,

    I have to agree with Amanda. I talked to several birth mothers while I was waiting for my little guy, but I never felt the same sense of rightness about any of the others that I did about him. I really think you will know when it is the right one.

  5. Erin O' said,

    I’m sitting on the edge of my seat! You must be, too. Another thing to consider, at least in our experience, and that of other adoptive families we know (from Ethiopia), sometimes the child will be older than his/her paperwork says. Birthdays in Eth. are not noted the way they are here, and sometimes there isn’t a written record, just guesswork.

  6. lucky#2 said,

    Wow! I can’t imagine how exciting this process is…and how hard it is to wait.

  7. SaraS-P said,

    Best of luck with all of it.

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