May 27, 2008

Screwing with my mind even more

Posted in TTC woes at 1:36 pm by Erin

My doctor's office phone number has been going straight through to the answering service all day.  It was bad enough that I miscarried on the Sunday of a long weekend and couldn't call until today, but today they're not picking up and the answering service has no idea why not, since the office isn't supposed to be closed.  They just keep telling me to try back a little later.  I didn't want to say it was an emergency since I'm really not bleeding besides what I would normally expect from my period (maybe a little crampier), so I haven't asked for the on-call doctor.

If I didn't have both boys with me, I would have just driven over today.  But I can't take them with me for this type of appointment, clearly.  J was going to come home so that I could go to an appointment, but I couldn't get through.

Their office hours start at 6:30 a.m. on Wednesday.  I'm calling at 6:31 and if I don't get through, I'm driving over with my little sac in a bag on ice.  They will see me tomorrow morning, because I go out of town on Thursday morning and have other things to do tomorrow (playdate, dr's appt for K, and substituting for an anatomy lecture at my college tomorrow night–and packing.  Should probably pack.).

I'm vaguely depressed about it now.  In all honesty, I know we aren't ready to add to our family again anytime soon, but I can't stop thinking that it would have been fun to have another baby.  It's not something we've given up on trying, as I've mentioned, and I know now's not the ideal time, but it would have been pretty incredible.  We would have managed somehow.  Since when is "ideal" a luxury that infertiles get to choose, anyway?

I'm distracted and lazy right now.  I've been commenting on a million blogs from NaComLeavMo and just realized that I commented on about 20 more using my real e-mail address instead of the one associated with this blog.  So any of those people who try to find me will get a message that my profile is not activated, and I can't change it to lead them to this one or people IRL might find this blog.  I'm not trying to be an Iron Commenter, but this has been a great distraction for me in the last couple of days.  I've probably commented on about 75 new blogs.  If I weren't going out of town on Thursday, I might give the Iron Commenting a shot; there's just no way I can get through another 150 blogs by tomorrow night.

But it is helping me keep my mind off myself, and I appreciate that a lot.

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38 Comments »

  1. Clover said,

    OMG- just catching up on the last 3 posts. What a whirlwind of emotions. Ugh I’m sorry you are dealing with this when you are already feeling fragile and spent trying to adjust to your new family life. PS- Did you realize you put J’s full name in this post?

  2. Becky said,

    *hugs*
    Just.
    *hugs*

  3. My Reality said,

    I hope you get some answers tomorrow.

  4. Erin said,

    (((HUGS)))

  5. Erin O' said,

    Whoa! I just left that last comment without reading the most recent posts. How bizarre life is.
    Many hugs from me, too.

  6. Kristen said,

    *HUGS*
    I’m sorry you have to deal with this. With my first miscarriage, the timing was pretty horrible. DH and I were both finishing up our degrees and we lived in a tiny 2BR apt. We had no money. But we would have made it work. And you certainly would have found a way. And you would have loved that baby and given him/her everything you had.
    I’ll be thinking of you. XOXO
    NCLM

  7. Samantha said,

    I hope you get to your doctor’s office tomorrow!

  8. That Doctor’s office is infuriating. I’m sorry.
    I just want you to know I’m thinking of you.
    HUGS.

  9. wanttobeamom said,

    I’m sorry for your loss. I’ve had 2 m/c’s and they both sucked beyond belief. I hope you are able to see your doc tomorrow.
    Thanks for stopping by my blog.

  10. Emily said,

    I’m so sorry to hear everything you’re going through. I can’t believe you’ve got all this going on and you came to visit my blog!

  11. Rebel said,

    Oh sweetie… Damn. Just Damn. I hope that you are “ok”. Hugs on the way!!

  12. thalia said,

    Oh Erin, I’m sorry for this news. Even if you weren’t ready for another baby, it’s still a loss, so I’m not surprised you’re sad. Hope you can get to see the doc today.

  13. Calliope said,

    so sorry. And how horrible that you couldn’t even get through to your RE! insane.
    I am amazed that you are even attempting to be an Iron Commenter- wow. I am very impressed.
    hope you get some answers today. adding you to my bloglines so I can keep up.

  14. Robyn said,

    Sorry to hear you’ve been going through such a sucky time. Wishing you strength and an appointment post haste at that clinic of yours.
    Thanks for stopping by on your NaComLeavMo journey!

  15. Kim said,

    So sorry! I think there needs to be a way to reach drs when there is something in between a life threatening emergency and scheduling a well visit. Everything always happens to me on a holiday weekend to! Congrats on your boys. We are in the process of adding to our family through adoption from South Korea.

  16. Cece said,

    Here from NaComLeavMo – and all I can say is {big hug}.

  17. Amanda said,

    I’m coming by to return your comment from NaComLeavMo. I’m so sorry. Hugs to you and your family. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts.

  18. Dianne said,

    I’m very sorry for your loss. I don’t think there would be a time that this would be a good thing or easier. You have every right to be sad, mournful, and stricken by this tradegy.
    Truly wishing you peace.

  19. Heather said,

    Just because it might not be the right time right now doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to be sad.
    My thoughts are with you!!

  20. Betty M said,

    I am so very sorry to read your last few posts. I hope you can get some answers from the doctors when you finally get to see them. There is some rubbish karma out there when it comes to m/c and holiday periods both mine happened over holiday weekends. Thank you for stopping by my blog on your NaComLeavMo trail.

  21. Mya said,

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope your doctor’s office gets their act in gear tomorrow.
    Thanks for stopping by my blog.

  22. Geohde said,

    I’m so sorry to read about your loss, and I should thank you even more for stopping by my offensively p-word filled blog.
    You’re so right that we don’t get to choose ‘ideal’ in this game when it comes to timing, that point really rang home.
    J

  23. Q said,

    Visiting from NCLM. Thanks for stopping by my blog.
    I’m so sorry for what’s going on. I hope your doctor’s office is open so you can get some answers!
    Hope everything turns out well, and that you can find some peace. 🙂

  24. Q said,

    Visiting from NCLM. Thanks for stopping by my blog.
    I’m so sorry for what’s going on. I hope your doctor’s office is open so you can get some answers!
    Hope everything turns out well, and that you can find some peace. 🙂

  25. Q said,

    Oops! Sorry for the double post! 😀

  26. duck said,

    Nacomleavmo
    Sorry to hear about your misscarraige, I hope you get an apointment soon, you should see a doctor even if you are feeling well.
    take care

  27. Dr. Grumbles said,

    They better see you. The whole situations makes me upset.

  28. Ms. C said,

    Sending you a hug, Erin. I hope you were able to get in to see your doctor today.

  29. Jendeis said,

    Here from NaComLeavMo. I know what you mean about this being distracting. It feels good to be taking my mind off of the crap that is going in my real life.
    Hope that the doctors actually pick up the phone and see you, so that everything will work out right.

  30. Irish Girl said,

    Oh wow. I’m just getting caught up with my reading/commenting so I am reading this for the first time. I’m so sorry! I hope you can get in asap for some answers. Sending warm wishes to you!

  31. Alicia said,

    I am terribly sorry to read about your loss. I hope your doctors office answers soon!
    Here from NaComLeavMo

  32. Chris said,

    What a whirlwind! I’m so sorry for your loss and all the trouble you are going through. Hugs to you.
    Just visiting from NCLM . ..

  33. Portia P said,

    Here via Nacomleavmo.
    I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I hope you can get some input from the Docs soon.

  34. Kate said,

    I’m sorry for what you’ve been going through. Even though it isn’t what you wanted or planned, it’s still a loss and is still sad. Take care of yourself.
    And thanks for offering support on my blog, I appreciate it!

  35. Julie said,

    I hope everything’s going ok over there and that the doctor’s office visit was helpful!

  36. DC said,

    I hope you’re able to get in to see the doctor tomorrow!

  37. Mary said,

    E, we’re thinking of you. Hugs.

  38. topcat said,

    Dear Erin,
    thank you so very much for your recent support … I have really needed it.
    Gee I’m so sorry to hear of what you have been through lately .. I can’t BELIEVE that docs ridiculous comments either.
    I hope you are ok.
    xoxox


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