August 1, 2009

Where to go from here

Posted in The musings of Erin at 8:45 pm by Erin

I think it's quite obvious that this blog has…well, faded is probably the kindest word for what has happened to it.  I barely write.  It's not that I don't have anything to write, I just can't imagine anyone wants to read it, and most of my readers seem to have disappeared anyway. 

Those of you who remain clearly have lots of stamina and certainly have lots of my gratitude.  I can't imagine what I would do without you.  So I leave it up to you to help me determine the future, if any, of this blog.

The options:

1) Shut down entirely.  I've been paying $9 a month to leave posts up for weeks at a time, without writing anything.  It's not much money but I can think of other things to do with it if I'm not going to write.

2) Write more often about our current TTC journey.  We've been actively TTC, with metformin and paying attention to cycles for many many months now–15 and counting.  I can certainly write about that, but I'm much less angst-ridden than I used to be.  For example, I got my period today.  It still sucks and I was, of course, hoping not to get it, but it doesn't feel as endlessly painful as it used to before we brought K home.  Actually, I almost feel numb about it–how likely is it that good ol' sex will actually get me pregnant, even with metformin?  It's been almost 5 years.  Still, though, as IVF is stil in our future plans, there will be more to write about later.

3) Write more about life as an adoptive and transracial and interfaith family (heh, we encompass a lot of groups).  There's a lot to be written there but I'm not sure if people are interested in reading it.

4) Write more about our general daily lives.  Life gets more complex and, in most cases, more fun as the kids get older and as J and I struggle to figure out our professional lives.  (Thankfully, our marriage seems particularly strong right now after a recent rough patch.  I finally feel comfortable saying that we've come out of it at last.)

5) Anything else you'd like to read?

I wish I could say what I used to say: that this blog is entirely for me and it doesn't matter if other people read it, but I've apparently become a comment whore–I do care a lot if people read and comment.  This seems particularly self-centered since I've been commenting less on other people's blogs, but there you have it. 

There are a lot of words inside of me, lurking about, but I seem to have lost my direction.  Mel says to keep a 75%/25% ratio of writing about your main topic to other topics, but I don't know WHAT my main topic is anymore.  It used to be infertility.  Clearly, that hasn't gotten any better.  Then it was international adoption.  Clearly, we have the most wonderful little boy because of international adoption, and we do plan to adopt again from Ethiopia in the future (whether or not IVF succeeds, we WILL adopt again), but the paperwork is months away from even being started.  There's really nothing to write about the process right now, though there's plenty to write about the reality of being an adoptive family.

I'm not naturally funny.  I can't make great stories out of my daily life (unless prompted by the actions of my kids or students).  I'm not Aunt Becky or DD, or many of you who make me laugh and think and wonder.  I'm me, and me can be very dull.

So dear readers, tell me.  What do I do?  And know that I love you, no matter what you say.



  1. JessPond said,

    I am eager to hear more, I’m not going anywhere.
    2,3, an 4 are my choices. πŸ™‚

  2. maren said,

    Good luck πŸ™‚ I am so glad to hear you and J are doing well! I love hearing you write about how your amazing life works. If you want to throw in details about how you’re getting from a to b (b being your family goals) go for it. It’s all part of the tapestry for me.

  3. thalia said,

    I’m facing the same conversation inside my head. Dunno where to go with it, although I’ve ruled out 1 as I hate to leave the community I’ve been part of for so long.
    I like knowing about the people I follow, so anything about your life that you want to ponder is fine with me, esp the international adoption/blended family aspect.

  4. My Reality said,

    I say move to wordpress so you don’t have to pay a penny. And then write about whatever you want to. This is your space. And really, I would like to hear about it all.

  5. May said,

    Free blogging elsewhere, and write about whatever you want!

  6. Summer said,

    I don’t know if I’ve ever commented before, but I’ve been keeping up with your posts for, oh, more than a couple of years? (I think I found you through DD but it could also have been Leggy or Thalia). I would enjoy reading more about 2, 3 and 4, especially 3. And I second the move to wordpress if you don’t want to pay to blog.

  7. DD said,

    I think you’re just stroking my ego b/c you know I’m being a delicate (read: wussy) flower. Be that as it may…
    I 3rd or 4th or whatever the idea of moving your blog to wordpress. All posts (drafts, too) and comments will import. No guilt, even though it’s pennies a day, over the cost. It can sit there until doomsday waiting for when you’re ready.
    75/25, huh? According to my category cloud, it’s “domestic bliss”. How can that be?? If you were trying to take the blogging world by storm or get offered a book deal or get paid to blog, sure the ratio makes sense, but keeping it real is what I know is most important to you. It’s my only outlet, but I have to admit that I had tried talking myself into retiring after ZGirl’s birthday. I’m obviously struggling there.
    Seriously: move your blog and then let go of the guilt.

  8. Karen said,

    I love your writing; I love hearing about your life – I would miss you if you left entirely, so pleaes don’t shut down all together, so option 1 is out for me.
    You could consider switching to WordPress which won’t cost you $9 a month, which at least would take out the guilt factor on the finance side…
    I’m all for any combination of options 2, 3, and 4. (you don’t have to be funny – I’m not funny, either.)

  9. I 10th the move to another platform that does not charge you. I came after all the infertility and adoption stuff, and have enjoyed reading whenever you post. Personally I agree with DD. Its your blog and you should write about what you need to write about.

  10. Eva said,

    I’m confused why you have to pay to host your blog? I thought hosts were free for the most part? Anyway I’ll keep reading about whatever you want to share.

  11. Erin Bassett said,

    Please keep writing. We’ve been TTC for 9 yrs now & are (hopefully) moving closer to adopting. I’d love to hear about more about everything you listed in your post. πŸ˜€

  12. irshlas said,

    I agree w/ those saying write whatever makes ya happy. On a selfish point, any insight into TRA is a plus for me as I have NO help IRL. Hell, adoption itself is a foreign word in my world. Reading others’ perspectives is what keeps me from thinking I’m crazy! (and I’m definitely one of those folks whose attempt at blogging has crashed and burned…)

  13. Krista said,

    Write about the international adoption and how it is going with K. Write about TTC, write about possible in vitro. Write about how one copes with a full time job and 2 kids… or hell for that matter right now I am interested in how one copes with 2 kids in general. Write about the challenges of a bi-racial family. Just keep writing!

  14. sky said,

    Well, it’s hard for me to advise as I’m having difficulty finding my own blogging groove. But you can def rule out #1. Talk about anything and everything!

  15. Betty M said,

    I fifteenth the plea to stick around and write about whatever you want – all of 2,3 and 4 sound fascinating. Blogger is free too although not as pretty. Personally I like best the bloggers that have gone past the primary driver for the blog and out into the 25%.

  16. Jennifer said,

    I don’t buy into the whole “you have to have a topic” line of thinking. We are always way more than just one thing-to me, that’s what makes it interesting. If you have intentions of trying to do this as part of your living, that is another matter, but I’m all about hearing about the work, the kids, and you’re internal musings. That’s how we identify with people-not just one facet.
    Stick around-please-and I agree with DD; move the blog and lose the guilt.

  17. amanda said,

    If you figure it out, let me know. My blog has more than “faded.”
    I’ll be sticking around to read whatever you write. Gotta love feed readers for keeping up with those of us who no longer post on a daily basis.

  18. electriclady said,

    I’ll read whatever you write! And agree with the others re: moving to a platform you don’t have to pay for. Then there’s no guilt when you abandon ship for weeks at a time (like me!).

  19. Aunt Becky said,

    I’d go with Option All. I’ll read whatever you write. I just like you and stuff. Man, that sounded creepy. Sorry.

  20. antropologa said,

    Hey fyi a good friend is planning to adopt from Ethiopia, and she lives in your city.

  21. Amy said,

    Erin, I’m so happy to see that you decided to continue to blog, I have SO enjoyed reading you for a long time. I love to read your posts about your family life and I’m super excited to read about your future additions πŸ™‚

  22. chezperky said,

    I’m glad you’ve decided to continue. And I’m becoming a big fan of WordPress – I resisted for a long time, moving from blogger to TypePad… and now I’m here at WordPress.


  23. Heather said,

    Yeah for new digs!! πŸ™‚

  24. I read but not always comment. If you write, I will read…no matter what the topic.

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