February 15, 2010

Let the plans begin!

Posted in Uncategorized at 11:46 pm by Erin

J’s been caught in an annoying situation here, in which he’s going to be working with a new firm that has a governmental contract.  The contract was to be signed about 10 days ago…right when Washington got 2 feet of snow.  Followed by 2 more feet of snow, or however many inches of fluffy white insanity it ultimately ended up.  So the contracts are just now getting signed (we hope), which means that they haven’t sent out the employment contracts yet because they’re no longer sure of the start date.  Alas.  But he’s gotten several e-mails from them, assuring him and the other new employees that they will be coming eventually, so we’re feeling more confident.  Still, until the contract is signed, we’re being a bit careful and still haven’t told people IRL.

We can’t help but start working on some things that we’d put off for the last year.  We’re redoing our kitchen floor in the next 2 weeks, replacing the vinyl linoleum with some peel-and-stick vinyl tile that you can grout between, making it look a little nicer and a little more realistic.  No one would mistake it for real tile but since we don’t plan to stay in this house for more than another year or two, it doesn’t make much sense to invest in real tile.  And it should save a HUGE amount of time and work.  We’re pleased with it and hoping to have it done before J starts work.

We’re also making plans for building our family!!!  J’s new job is actually the lowest-paid of the three jobs for which he had interviews; while it was nice to pretend that he might be making a nice 6-figure salary, the real job in the hand is so much better than those dreams.  I’ll be working over the summer for the first time in 5 years.  I’m not looking forward to it but we’ve got it set so that I’ll be teaching 2 classes, one lecture online and one late-evening lab twice a week.  I won’t get to bring the kids to Florida to see my grandmothers until late July (instead of late May after P is done with school) but I’ll still get to stay home with the kids all day, J will be with them while I’m at my lab, we’ll still get to go to Alaska with J’s family, and it will bring in enough to cover almost the entire cost of IVF.  We’re planning on the Clomid/IUI cycle sometime in July, followed by IVF in August.  And if that doesn’t work, we’re saving up separately so that we can do our homestudy right after that.

In the meantime, I’m now 3 days into taking Metformin again.  It hit me hard the first day and I thought back to the first time I ever took it, how it didn’t seem bad at all.  Then I realized that I first took it when I was 25.  Now I”m 32.  And then I abandoned that train of thought since it was going to lead to nothing but sadness, and I’ve been pretty happy and non-stressed lately.  I’d like to keep it that way!

It feels good to be able to plan again, to not stress and hope and wonder “when?” for the things we’d like to do.


February 5, 2010


Posted in Happiness is a true gift at 2:04 am by Erin

I clearly chose the wrong month to try to do the “good things” challenge for myself.  Up until today, 2010 has pretty well sucked.  For 3 days now, I hadn’t been able to come up with good things.  Really.  And the days before that were a ridiculous challenge also.  J and I have been sniping at each other for things neither of us can do anything about, the kids have been in “moods” much of the time, the weather has been cold, gray, and rainy, and the dishwasher is still broken.   The identity theft thing has been making me lose sleep, driving with not only an expired but revoked license is making me have panic attacks everytime I get in the car, as has J’s unemployment and some stupidity on our part through poor record keeping in which we bounced 2 checks.  I had to confront a student who was quite disrespectful to me (and she’s old enough that she mentioned a grandchild in our conversation, so you’d think she’d have learned some manners by now; this is the same one I complained about recently), and have to deal with students who think my policy for not accepting late papers is unfair.  Oh, and I’ve just given the first round of tests and am sure to have some unhappy students when they’re finally graded.

I had been really, really looking forward to having a girl’s night out tonight.  We’d all planned on the date and time already, the only thing we hadn’t decided was the location.  Several people suggested places and the only thing I said was “I’m up for almost anything but I’d prefer not to go to Place X because it’s such a long drive for me.”  Every place that was suggested was quite close to everyone else (they all live close together and I don’t expect everyone else to drive to get close to me) but Place X was the farthest from me by a good bit.  Since I didn’t think it would make much difference to anyone else, I figured we’d go to one of the other places. 

Instead, one girl sent this e-mail this morning: “Erin, we certainly don’t want to exclude you but Place X would be fun and different.  Let’s meet there…”  Well gee, thanks for not wanting to exclude me by choosing the one place that excludes me.  I didn’t even get the e-mail until after my crappy day, which had been buoyed with thoughts of “I’m going out tonight.  I get to hang out with my friends.” 

There were 5 of us who’d made the plans.  I’m much closer friends with 2 of the women than with the other 2; one of the other 2 was the one who sent the e-mail.  The 2 with whom I’m close both called since they got the e-mail the same time I did and it was too late to change plans by then.  “I’m so sorry!” they said.  “I really wanted to hang out with you,” they said.  And one said “___ feels really bad about this!”  Bullshit.  If ___ felt really bad about it, she could have chosen one of the other places that was mentioned.  ___ could have said “Hey, if that’s too far for Erin, let’s save that for a night when she can’t make it and go to another place instead.” 

I was practically in tears as I drove home in the traffic and rain.  Hell, I would have been in tears if I hadn’t been afraid to cry while driving.

I called J, who knew how much I’d been looking forward to it.  He suggested we go out for dinner, just to do something special.  I felt so miserable that I agreed, even though we’ve been trying really hard to save money.  We met at a restaurant we enjoy that (because my luck sucks that badly) is now closed.  But my sweet husband and my kids were there, all of them thrilled to see me.  And my mood started to lift.  We decided to go to another place close by and P asked about it.  I told him where it was and he said “Is that the place with the toothpicks on the table?  I LOVE that place!”  He made me laugh.  When we got there, K clamored to sit next to me and wouldn’t stop giving me hugs and kisses.  My heart felt so much lighter.

And then J told me he got a job*.  After almost a full year of unemployment (it would have been a year at the end of this month), so many of our worries have gone away.  I’m so glad that I didn’t go out tonight so that we could celebrate his news.  Who knew that a crappy day could end so well?


*If you know us IRL, please don’t say anything yet or post anything on Facebook.  J hasn’t officially accepted the job or signed a contract yet, so we’re keeping this quiet for another week or so until it’s official.

February 1, 2010

The missing days: 13, 14, and 15 (I think)

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:48 am by Erin

And boy, do I really need to remember the good things!

Day 13 (Friday)–a fabulous time visiting at a friend’s house with another girlfriend from out-of-town and her beautiful daughter.  K had the best time playing there and it was such a special visit for me.  Had a wonderful day with K, and fun spending time with J.  I got to get P off the bus which, while still surreal, is always fun.  And then the fun ended…but more on that later.

Day 14 (Saturday)–a great visit to a friend’s house who moved out-of-town.  Our kids are all the same age and they had multiple families visiting, all of whom we know and like.  At one point, there were 6 kids (almost 3, 3, 5, 5, 5, and 6) and we adults realized that we’d been sitting and chatting and enjoying each other’s company for better than 30 minutes without any complaints from any of the kids.  Lots of giggling (so it wasn’t that worrisome silence that usually accompanies trouble) but no complaints or whines or cries.  It was fabulous!  We ate and laughed and had a wonderful time with our friends, and the kids had a blast.  We didn’t leave until after 10 and didn’t get home until midnight but it was well worth the sleepiness.

Day 15 (today)–it’s been a rough day today.  PMS hit pretty hard and I was in a rotten mood most of the day, so I have to dig deep to find the good.  I got a lot of work done while P was at Sunday school and then, since my friends know that I work at the St*arbucks near our synagogue while he’s there, I visited with two different friends who came by to say hi.  Made me feel very loved 🙂

The major reason that I need the good news focus?  On Friday afternoon, I got a letter in the mail that my license has been revoked (I’d sent in the form to get it renewed) because I’d had a license revoked in North Carolina, and that I had to clear it up with them before I could get my Georgia license reinstated.  I’ve never lived in North Carolina…but the person who stole my identity 7 years ago lived there.

7 or so years ago, we had a bunch of mail stolen from our mailbox.  It included bills that we were paying, and I’m sure the checks were what the person was hoping to get.  Extremely unfortunately, there also happened to be my health insurance enrollment form in there, complete with social security number, birth date, everything that someone would need to steal an identity.  We dealt with some attempted forged checks with our bank (who thankfully realized something was wrong when the person attempted to cash the first one, so we never paid anything and our accounts weren’t harmed), collections calls from a department store, filing police reports, freezing my credit, etc.  Honestly, it wasn’t the worst thing in the world.  It was a pain in the neck but it didn’t actually cost us anything except time.  We were lucky.

However, the person apparently got an NC driver’s license and it was canceled due to a fraud investigation, so Georgia canceled mine when it came up for renewal.  The police officer that I spoke to in NC on Friday said that there is a photo of the person and hopefully we can clear it up without anything more than that (I faxed him a copy of my driver’s license and other things he needed); if not, though, I’ll need to go to NC to clear it up.  And I can’t drive to NC because my license has been revoked, which means that J will need to drive me, which means we’ll need to keep P out of school and take both kids on the 4-hour-each-way drive to Charlotte to clear it up.  Either way, I still need to file an appeal with Georgia and get my license back.  J feels sure that I can at least get a provisional one until it’s cleared up, but this is a huge pain. 

It was coupled with finding out that afternoon that we’d bounced two checks through lousy record-keeping on our part, which will cost us money in returned-check fees.  Oh, and our dishwasher broke Saturday morning.  And the PMS today.

This week HAS to get better, right?  I’m just going to try to remember the good things more: J taught tonight’s Bradley class, so I got to have fun bedtime with the kids; the TV seems to be working well with our antenna now, so I shouldn’t have any trouble watching 24 tomorrow night; and by tomorrow morning, I’ll be completely done preparing for work for the week.

And now I’m going to bed.  Hopefully I can sleep better tonight.