February 5, 2010


Posted in Happiness is a true gift at 2:04 am by Erin

I clearly chose the wrong month to try to do the “good things” challenge for myself.  Up until today, 2010 has pretty well sucked.  For 3 days now, I hadn’t been able to come up with good things.  Really.  And the days before that were a ridiculous challenge also.  J and I have been sniping at each other for things neither of us can do anything about, the kids have been in “moods” much of the time, the weather has been cold, gray, and rainy, and the dishwasher is still broken.   The identity theft thing has been making me lose sleep, driving with not only an expired but revoked license is making me have panic attacks everytime I get in the car, as has J’s unemployment and some stupidity on our part through poor record keeping in which we bounced 2 checks.  I had to confront a student who was quite disrespectful to me (and she’s old enough that she mentioned a grandchild in our conversation, so you’d think she’d have learned some manners by now; this is the same one I complained about recently), and have to deal with students who think my policy for not accepting late papers is unfair.  Oh, and I’ve just given the first round of tests and am sure to have some unhappy students when they’re finally graded.

I had been really, really looking forward to having a girl’s night out tonight.  We’d all planned on the date and time already, the only thing we hadn’t decided was the location.  Several people suggested places and the only thing I said was “I’m up for almost anything but I’d prefer not to go to Place X because it’s such a long drive for me.”  Every place that was suggested was quite close to everyone else (they all live close together and I don’t expect everyone else to drive to get close to me) but Place X was the farthest from me by a good bit.  Since I didn’t think it would make much difference to anyone else, I figured we’d go to one of the other places. 

Instead, one girl sent this e-mail this morning: “Erin, we certainly don’t want to exclude you but Place X would be fun and different.  Let’s meet there…”  Well gee, thanks for not wanting to exclude me by choosing the one place that excludes me.  I didn’t even get the e-mail until after my crappy day, which had been buoyed with thoughts of “I’m going out tonight.  I get to hang out with my friends.” 

There were 5 of us who’d made the plans.  I’m much closer friends with 2 of the women than with the other 2; one of the other 2 was the one who sent the e-mail.  The 2 with whom I’m close both called since they got the e-mail the same time I did and it was too late to change plans by then.  “I’m so sorry!” they said.  “I really wanted to hang out with you,” they said.  And one said “___ feels really bad about this!”  Bullshit.  If ___ felt really bad about it, she could have chosen one of the other places that was mentioned.  ___ could have said “Hey, if that’s too far for Erin, let’s save that for a night when she can’t make it and go to another place instead.” 

I was practically in tears as I drove home in the traffic and rain.  Hell, I would have been in tears if I hadn’t been afraid to cry while driving.

I called J, who knew how much I’d been looking forward to it.  He suggested we go out for dinner, just to do something special.  I felt so miserable that I agreed, even though we’ve been trying really hard to save money.  We met at a restaurant we enjoy that (because my luck sucks that badly) is now closed.  But my sweet husband and my kids were there, all of them thrilled to see me.  And my mood started to lift.  We decided to go to another place close by and P asked about it.  I told him where it was and he said “Is that the place with the toothpicks on the table?  I LOVE that place!”  He made me laugh.  When we got there, K clamored to sit next to me and wouldn’t stop giving me hugs and kisses.  My heart felt so much lighter.

And then J told me he got a job*.  After almost a full year of unemployment (it would have been a year at the end of this month), so many of our worries have gone away.  I’m so glad that I didn’t go out tonight so that we could celebrate his news.  Who knew that a crappy day could end so well?


*If you know us IRL, please don’t say anything yet or post anything on Facebook.  J hasn’t officially accepted the job or signed a contract yet, so we’re keeping this quiet for another week or so until it’s official.



  1. antropologa said,

    Yay on the job! Boo on the friends.

  2. Melody said,

    OMG! Congratulations on the job!! He must have secretly been so glad to have you to himself for the evening so he could surprise you. I’m so happy for you!

  3. That is AWESOME about the job. What a relief you must feel.

    About the friends, boo. Not cool at all.

  4. electriclady said,

    Hooray for the job! What a HUGE relief that must be. And boo on your friends. Totally jerky.

  5. Courtney said,

    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE on the job! (squeal of joy and congrats and joy and thankfulness and congrats and joy!)

    Have had sick kiddos virtually nonstop and have clearly missed A LOT in your world!!! A. WHOLE. LOT. Sorry to hear of some very tough stuff.

    BUT WOW AND YAY TO HEAR ABOUT THIS JOB!!!! And the awesome sweet kiddo love on the blechy day.

    Regarding Grandma Rude And Should Know Better, when I was in college I waived out of French 4 due to AP credit. I knew I had taken the AP after junior year of high school and that my senior year course was weak and that I’d lost some fundamentals. I took French 4 and didn’t get credit due to the AP credit, but I got the foundational knowledge I needed to succeed. Which was my responsibility. It is also Grandma Unprepared for Course But Blaming World and Expecting the Chemistry Fairy to Magically Make It Work for Her’s responsibility to get the skills she needs. I am unmoved that she was exempted. If she isn’t cutting it, she isn’t cutting it. She can audit a chem course or drop your class and try and self teach or get a tutor with the time that opens up. I am sorry she was so rude to you. You certainly don’t need that and boo on her for indulging. I get stress. I get frustration. I get having a timeframe and being set back. I get being a working adult rather than a kid like I was BUT still, it’s her responsibility. And you gotta do what you gotta do.

    What to say about the friends thing that hasn’t already been said? Boo on that has been said and pretty much says it all.

    And did I mention YAY about the job!!!! What a huge, huge, huge relief and thrill and positive, exciting, and affirming and encouraging step for J and for all of you!!!!!!!!!!!


    Now THAT is what I call a happy ending to a blog entry! And a surprise ending at that!!!!!

    More to catch up on…hope to do so in person! Soon!


  6. jesspond said,

    Congrats!! I’m so, so glad that things turned up for you guys! You deserve it!! It’s so crappy that your friends made it all but impossible for you to go out with them, how terrible! Ugh, people suck sometimes, they just suck!

    Hope your weekend continues to NOT suck! 🙂

  7. Betty M said,

    Great news on the job!

  8. A'Dell said,

    YAY! That is so exciting! Congratulations!

    Re: the friend thing, this totally happens to me all the time. It’s such a DEAL to plan something, MY GOD, it’s like the Pope is going to join us and we have to send an advance party to vet the place. Annoying as all hell and frustrating to boot.

  9. Krista said,

    YAYYYYYY!!!! I am so happy about the job and what it means for yours and J’s stress levels!

    And sometimes friends can really let you down… tonight they did, but it worked out in the end anyway!

  10. Yo-yo Mama said,

    That has got to be a HUGE relief for all of you. So happy that things are coming together again professionally.

    Why didn’t you email your friend back and ask her if she’d be willing to pick you up and then drop you off since you don’t have a valid driver’s license? Maybe she would have rethought her choice. And yes, I would have held that over her head. Could she have been any more passive agressive about it, either? I mean to say, yeah we know it’ll be a pain, but we’re doing it anyway, that’ was shitty.

  11. Kelly said,

    I think it was fate that kept you close to home to have dinner with family. It still doesn’t excuse the friends not taking up for your one and only request. It doesn’t matter where you go, as you are getting together to be with each.


    Congrats on the job, how awesome! Sigh….breathe a little easier now I hope….


  12. k77 said,

    I’m glad your day got better. Women can be such bitches.

  13. Brea said,

    Erin, that is GREAT news about the job! I can’t wait to hear more!

  14. Tim & Rhianna said,

    Hey, getting all caught up again- I was down with you but at the end am way, way UP! Wow and hooray and joy about the job! I will pray about it the next few days; can’t wait to hear when it’s official. Thanks for sharing your heart with us- the good and the bad.

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