May 7, 2010

And then there are those who just don’t get it…

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:47 pm by Erin

Since last week was National Infertility Awareness Week, I slacked off on my blogging (which is hard to do, considering how little I blog here anyway).  I was still semi-reeling from the chemical pregnancy and yet feeling surprisingly hopeful about the future.  I called Nurse L and figured out what to do, which is basicallycall her when I get my period and get in for my d3 bloodwork and start Clomid for the IUI cycle.  We’ll do all the baseline monitoring, saline sonogram, and the mock transfer next cycle along with the IUI so that I’m ready to start BCP when that one doesn’t work (I don’t think anyone really expects it to work).  I’m just hoping desperately to ovulate soon so that I can get the Clomid cycle out of the way before we go on our cruise with my ILs at the end of June.  It would be best if I’m on BCP while we’re gone.

But I’ve digressed really far.  As usual.

So with last week being NIAW, I made the vast majority of my F.acebook updates about infertility awareness, posting stats and other information about infertility.  It wasn’t subtle in the least, as I’m no longer uncomfortable talking about my infertility* to IRL people.  It was meant to bring awareness to the subject.

Today, I happened to post about needing a very large drink at the end of next week because the semester will be over.  And a little while ago, one of my neighbors responded with “At least you don’t have to wait 3 months.  BIG sigh.”  Said neighbor is 6 months pregnant with child #2.

I thought about just letting it go and then decided that it was that kind of insensitive and unthinking statement that gets me the most, so I posted “(Name of neighbor), I’d give practically anything to have to wait 3 months for the reason you have to wait 3 months. Trust me, a drink is no consolation for that.”  I hope she reads it and I hope she gets it.  However, if a week of posting about infertility awareness wasn’t enough to get it, I have little hope.

*There are thoughts about this brewing for another post.



  1. Yo-yo Mama said,

    You were TOTALLY “mommy-jacked”!!

    Do you read STFU, Parents? Well, if you do then you’ll know exactly what I mean. Even if you don’t, she hijacked your update. Plain and simple.

    And with the mood I’m in, I wouldn’t have been nearly as diplomatic. That’s your southern charm working in your favor. And tolerance of stupid.

  2. JessPond said,

    Oooooh snap!!

    Way to go! That was ballsy and perfect!

  3. Courtney said,

    Oh, Erin! As you know I was already a bit up in arms over what I thought the post was. And then…I got confirmation and definitely admired your direct but ever so tactful response.

    Upon learning that you’ve been posting ALL WEEK about infertility, my reaction was basically: “Shut the front door!” (got that from the show Castle and it services just as well as the analagous phrase but minus the f-bomb)

    Good grief–talk about someone who may never quite get it. Still and all, you never know who might happen to see the Facebook exchange on their dashboard and who might just become a bit enlightened.

    In the meantime, here’s hoping the Atlanta heat keeps your neighbor indoors so you don’t have to hear about her “ordeal” (sigh) for the next 3 months. Because there isn’t enough liquor in the world to make that tolerable!

    Anyway, am very proud of you for your very coherent reply. It was a punch to my gut and I don’t even know her and you have so much poignant stuff going on right now. So good on you! Good on you, indeed! And who knows, MAYBE you’ll penetrate that armour of clueless self-absorbtion and insensitivity and your neighbor will actually get it just a little bit better.

    Love you,

  4. Courtney said,

    ack. sorry or not doing something with f.acebook. Does that cause confusion with searches even in the comments section? can it be edited out?


  5. My Reality said,

    Some people just don’t get it and never will.

  6. antropologa said,

    What an impressively obliviously hurtful comment from your neighbor. Jeez.

  7. Christy said,

    I think your response was perfect. It gave Neighbor insight but wasn’t ugly. I’m so sorry, though. I know “be thankful you aren’t pregnant” comments don’t occur to most as being thoughtless, but it’s sort of like telling a person in a wheelchair, “You’re lucky you’re paralyzed and get those awesome parking places!”

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