July 1, 2010

Positive HPTs = 5

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:56 pm by Erin

And I still have one more to use before I go home.

Thank you all for the happy thoughts!  We were in Ketitchkan, Alaska the other day and I happened to check my e-mail while the kids were in the bathroom, but didn’t have time to respond then.  I’m writing this post in my room and will post it later.

I’ve been up and down so far.  I’ve been spotting since a few hours after getting the first positive test.  This, of course, freaks me out.  It’s not a lot, just enough to panic me when I go to the bathroom.  I keep reminding myself that I spotted like this when I was pregnant with P—but when I was pregnant with P, I had betas at 15, 18, and 20 dpo to reassure me that he was fine.  This time, I have 5 positive pregnancy tests but no betas.  Who knows if it’s still OK?  I brought two tests with me and then bought a 3-pack of digital tests in Juneau.  The night before I took the first digital, I got really nervous that it was going to say “Not pregnant” but thankfully, the two that I’ve taken have both said “Pregnant”.

Will it be worth getting betas when I get home?  I’ll already be 23dpo on Monday.  How early will they do a u/s?  It’ll be too early to see a heartbeat but is it too early to see anything?

Krista, you hit it right on the head with your question—how am I hiding the fact that I can’t drink on here?!  It’s not easy.  My in-laws got a bottle of champagne the first night and I would pretend to take sips, then would switch glasses with J when no one was looking so that it appeared that my glass was getting emptier.  They already knew that I don’t drink red wine because it gives me migraines, so I claimed that I’m starting to find that with more types of alcohol as a reason that I’m not having wine with dinner.  One night, I got a virgin daiquiri at the bar before we met up with them for a show so that it didn’t look like I’m completely not drinking.  The ship is trying to do me in—they gave us a lovely anniversary gift of flowers, chocolate-covered strawberries, and a bottle of wine.  At dinner one night, I thought I had found the perfect solution—they have a few non-alcoholic wines.  When I ordered a glass, the idiot sommelier said, quite loudly “The non-alcoholic one?  You want non-alcoholic?”  Yes, you moron.  If I’m ordering the non-alcoholic wine, I want the non-alcoholic one!  I think my MIL suspects something but she’s being very kind in not asking.  If she does, however, J and I agree that we will lie without compunction.
J and I can’t help but dream about this actually working.  I want to be realistic, that I’ve had 5 or 6 chemical pregnancies over the last couple of years and a miscarriage at 8 weeks, that this might not last. One of the chemical pregnancies was later than this point.  But this one feels different.  I don’t know why.  Maybe it’s because it’s following exactly how I felt when I was pregnant with P at this point.  The dizziness started at 15dpo.  I feel vaguely ill when I eat chicken (though I think that’s psychosomatic this time around).  My nipples are so sore that it hurts to shower.  I think I’m already outgrowing my bra—I just spent $130 on two perfectly-sized bras from Nord.strom’s a month ago, and I’m spilling out of the cups of them.  I’m remembering that I was up 2 cup sizes by 8 weeks with P, and I’m starting from a D instead of a C this time.

But we want this so very, very much that it’s impossible to be particularly cynical.  There were adorable onesies in a store yesterday and I asked J “It’s too early to buy that, isn’t it?”  (FWIW, he said yes.)  I can’t help but think about having another son or maybe even a daughter—though given J’s family, it would probably be another precious son.  I can hardly believe that we might have hit the lottery spot-on…the cycle before IVF, a last-ditch Clomid/IUI cycle that we just did to get the bloodwork out of the way without wasting a cycle…could we really be this lucky after all this time?

I’m trying not to think about it too much, which is very different than trying not to get too attached (it was too late for that when I posted last time).  In the spirit of trying to keep my mind off it, I think I’ll go see a glacier.  I’ll post more when I’m home in a couple of days.

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8 Comments »

  1. electriclady said,

    This is SO EXCITING!!! Funny about the positive sticks but no betas for reassurance–I guess this is how “normals” experience early pregnancy, huh? 😉

    At 5-6 weeks (23 dpo is the equivalent of what, 5w2d?) I think you should at least be able to see the gestational sac, if not also yolk sac and fetal pole. I had my first u/s with BG at 5 weeks and saw the sac.

  2. JessPond said,

    Oh my goodness, I’m nervous FOR YOU! Geesh! I don’t know how you’re doing it without betas. Seriously, I’d be a basketcase.

    Noooot that it takes that much!

    Enjoy the rest of your trip….and keep us updated, for pete’s sake!

  3. Yo-yo Mama said,

    Electriclady is correct, there would be a fetal pole and sac at 5wks. Heart beats visible around 6wks. An US would confirm placement of pregnancy, but I would settle for a beta b/c that’s more defining since there’s a certain beta level they look for that tells them more specifically when they should see the heart. I don’t remember what that level is anymore…

  4. Krista said,

    Well let’s hope your MIL is smart enough to keep her suspicions to herself until you are ready to make an announcement. I am so happy for you Erin. I know you must be nervous, we all are given our histories, but I am glad you are able to be excited by it and I so truly, truly hope this is it!

  5. Courtney said,

    How awesomely awesome is this?! So excited to read this update and so full of hope! You are off to a fabulous start–may the fabulous just continue to get more and more fabulous!

    Enjoy the glaciers and the rest of the trip.

    And do please keep the posts coming as you are able!!!!!

    Rooting and smiling for you,
    Courtney

  6. Aunt Becky said,

    That is BEYOND exciting! I’m so happy for you! WOOT!

  7. emily said,

    You’ll be able to see the heartbeat at 28dpo- but you should definitely do a beta…

  8. Ms. C said,

    Just caught up with you here… Am rooting for you over in this corner!!


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