December 4, 2010

Protected: Being invisible

Posted in Uncategorized at 9:20 am by Erin

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December 3, 2010

Crawling back in

Posted in Uncategorized at 3:08 pm by Erin

It’s been 6+ weeks since I’ve written.  There just doesn’t seem to be a whole lot to write.  I’m about to run smack into the third trimester, which is staggering—I’ll be 27 weeks tomorrow with a VERY active baby.  There are some things much easier about this pregnancy than P’s, and some that are much harder.  The contractions multiple times a day are more irritating than anything else, although they’re definitely more frequent than last time.  I’m not anywhere near as swollen as I was while pregnant with P, which means I can still wear my wedding ring at 27 weeks pregnant—I had to take it off by 21 weeks pregnant last time.  It’s also making it easier to get around and I know I’m more comfortable than I was last time.  I’m pretty sure I’d already entered Miserable-land by this point last time.

I’m just feeling overwhelmed right now.  I probably have gestational diabetes and have to do the 3-hour glucose test, which means I have to make time to do the 3-hour glucose test (thankfully my wonderful hospital-based midwife is having me do it at home and report the results to her).  I worry that the reason the baby’s so strong is because he/she is big and that my tiny ute won’t be able to grow him/her to full-term, so we’ll have a preemie with all the associated and scary health problems.  When the contractions get frequent and start to get painful, they make me worry about that more.  I’m stressed about how work is going to go in the spring semester, because there are factors that I think I’ve partially brought on myself that were stupid and will impact my maternity leave.  It’s finals for this semester, which is always stressful—and student complaints are not making it easier (and they’re not even all directed towards me, but I still need to listen to them and direct them to the right people).  We’re having a lot of behavioral issues with P and are getting him evaluated for both speech and occupational therapy.  All in all, it’s just a lot at one time.

I really have no right to complain about anything.  The worries are mostly in my own head—no one has told me the baby is bigger than normal, I’m measuring right-on, and none of my midwives are concerned about the contractions—so I’m bringing that on myself.  I’m bringing most of the work stress on myself.  I did NaBloPoMo on my family blog and that was more that, you guessed it, I brought on myself.  If I could just overcome myself, I’d be in really good shape 😉