June 25, 2010

Holy fuck

Posted in Uncategorized at 3:59 am by Erin

It was positive.  At 13dpo, clear as a bell, within seconds.  It’s an EPT and the line came up as the control line was coming up. 

I told J immediately but begged him not to say a word while we’re on the cruise.  He agreed it would be way too early.

I have two more tests in my suitcase.  I’ll be using them.

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The end of 12dpo

Posted in Uncategorized at 1:49 am by Erin

And still no spotting.  Am second-guessing my ovulation date, even though my monitor confirmed the practically crippling pains in my ovaries 13 days ago.

I’m sure this will be like last cycle, in which I didn’t spot but simply started in with full flow and cramps.  (It was really bizarre.  I don’t remember that ever happening before in the last almost-20-years-of-menstruating.)  And in the meantime, my hopes are up.  I have two pregnancy tests in my suitcase.  You may realize that leaves a third.

I’m using it in 2 hours.  I’ll let you know, one way or the other.

June 23, 2010

And it’s yet another day

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:46 pm by Erin

Today I bought a 3-pack of home pregnancy tests.  The fact that I felt compelled to buy a 2-pack of eclairs at the same time pretty much ensures that I will not need to use the home pregnancy tests.  However, I bought them anyway since I am a) not spotting yet at 11 dpo, and b) will not be able to buy them in privacy while on our trip (should I actually—bwahahaha—need them).

I’m trying to get us ready to go.  The kids were both sick on Sunday and Monday, and J is sick today.  These things are not making it easier to prepare for a 10-day trip to Alaska.  I also felt the need to garden for many, many hours today and that also didn’t help (but admittedly was necessary if I’m going to be gone for 10 days).  I have not yet packed a single item.  Hell, I haven’t even made up my packing list!  I’m terrified that I’m going to forget to bring the dogs to the kennel tomorrow.  I have to finish up all of next week’s class materials before we leave, which includes writing a test.  I expect to be watching a lot of Buffy tonight while I get these things done.

And eating eclairs.

June 20, 2010

On our 11th anniversary…

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:09 pm by Erin

I am still so in love with my husband that sometimes words fail me.  We certainly have our differences but they keep things interesting.  We still have a lot more to learn about each other, to learn together, and to experience together over the many years ahead of us.  We’ve had so many wonderful memories over the last 11 years.  We have 2 beautiful, gorgeous, clever, and amusing children to raise, and will hopefully see our 12th anniversary with a third or on our way to our third and fourth. 

Happy anniversary, my love.

June 17, 2010

OK, I’ve ovulated already…

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:52 am by Erin

So can someone please tell the Cl.omid that it’s OK for me to stop having hot flashes?  K, thanx.

4dpo.  Nothing to report.

In related news, I need your advice: I will be at 14dpo two days after we leave for our vacation with my ILs.  Do I:

a) Call the clinic and beg for a beta the day before I leave (12dpo) if I’m not spotting, or…

b) Just bring the tampons and an HPT (or five) to cover all my bases.

Bearing in mind that I usually start spotting at 9dpo but certainly no later than 12dpo.  I’m leaning towards the beta because if it’s not positive (ha, I can’t even bring myself to type what I’d like to say there), I can talk to PA-L about getting an Rx for more Cl.omid (whee, hot flashes and mood swings while on vacation with my ILs), since I’d have to start taking it while we’re gone anyway.

June 16, 2010

And the report

Posted in Uncategorized at 6:21 pm by Erin

Along with the IUI, J had a new sem.en analysis done.  The results:

They like to see over 20 million swimmers.  Pre-wash, J had 333 million.  (Not a typo.)

They like to see 50% motility.  J’s were at 68%.

They like to see 3% normal forms.  J’s were at 8%.

I’ll have to make sure to tell J sometime after the kids go to bed.  I believe that last time he had an SA done, he called himself “Super Sperm-man” and had a whole superhero routine to go with it.  It was scary and yet adorable.

June 13, 2010

Insemed

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:06 pm by Erin

That’s J’s word for it, and it was done after a freaking long-ass wait at the RE’s office.  I’d never been in on a Sunday morning before and it was a pretty happening place.  But we now have 55 million swimmers on board after two days of ovary pain severe enough to have me wincing repeatedly, and bent over in pain a couple of times.  If it hurt that badly, I think I deserve to have sperm meet egg somewhere in a fallopian tube.

Damn, I really want this.

June 12, 2010

Peak today

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:36 pm by Erin

IUI tomorrow at 10:15!

Ow ow ow ow ow!

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:32 am by Erin

Ovaries.  They took a while to kick in but man, this hurts like hell.  There had damn well better be some really good eggs in there because I’m pretty sure I’m going to get a peak on the monitor tomorrow.  I talked to PA-L and she feels it’s best to to an IUI on Sunday if I get a peak tomorrow (which is fine with me).  J is seemingly OK with it, so I think that’s what we’ll be doing!

But damn, OW!!!

June 11, 2010

An early-morning slap-in-the-face

Posted in Uncategorized at 9:56 am by Erin

FB pregnancy announcement: “We’re going to be outnumbered in February!”  Due in February would make it about…oh, 5 weeks along?  Maybe?  I found out I was pregnant with P at 13dpo in mid-April and was due in mid-December, so move all that up about 2 months to have a February due date and…yeah, about 5 weeks or so.  Maybe 6.

And I’m on d17, still only getting a high on my monitor.  No peak, and today is the first day it even feels like something’s going on in there.  I put in a call to PA-L and am waiting to hear her thoughts.  J and I aren’t sure it’s worth doing an IUI this cycle with so little seemingly going on.  We’ve talked about skipping the IUI this cycle and maybe upping the Cl.omid dose next cycle, and doing one then.  The problem is that we are unlikely to be here on d3 of next cycle—we leave for Alaska 2 weeks from today, so unless I don’t ovulate for another week (and I don’t think it will be that long), we won’t be back until well after d3.  I’d have no d3 bloodwork or wanding, and I’d have to get the Rx filled before we leave so that I could start it while we’re there.  Not sure if they’ll go for that, though they might.

And I’m trying to plan a trip to visit my parents next month, which is going to be challenging based on doing any sort of treatment next cycle.  We had planned on the IUI this cycle and then BCP until we start IVF.  J really does not want to do the IUI this cycle—he feels it is a waste of time and money given the way I’m feeling, and I’m inclined to agree (partly because he so rarely feels anything strongly about fertility treatments).  But I’d rather do an IUI this cycle, even if there’s very little chance, if they won’t let me do Cl.omid next cycle. 

Argh.  My desire to remain positive has been seriously challenged lately—I found out at the beginning of last week that my aunt, my dad’s sister, not only has cancer, but that she is rapidly dying from it.  So rapidly that I expected to be at her funeral last week.  Rapidly enough that multiple meetings about removing life support have been had by my dad, other aunt, grandmother, and her (my aunt’s) family.  Her family, being a bunch of selfish and self-absorbed twits, is refusing to look after her best interests and is instead putting her through all sorts of painful and extremely invasive procedures that the doctors have said might extend her life by a matter of months, all of them pain-filled and requiring massive doses of sedating medications to keep her even remotely comfortable—but that means she’s not even conscious 99% of the time.  My dad has said if he ever sees my aunt’s husband again it will be too soon, and my dad does not make statements like that.  My other aunt decided to go back to her home, many states away, because she is so furious at my aunt’s family for forcing her sister to go through this. 

I’m trying to find brightness and happiness in little things.  My children are adorable and lively, always making me smile.  We went berry-picking and I learned to make jams, and to can them.  I’m slowly getting up the courage to try to make my MIL’s bread-and-butter pickle recipe.  She gave it to me years ago because her pickles are the world’s best, and I’ve been too intimidated to try it since I’d never canned anything before.  Now that I’ve successfully canned jams and spaghetti sauce, I’m feeling like I can probably give it a go when the pickling cucumbers come into season.

Keeping positive, that’s me.