October 16, 2009

How to lose readers in one easy post…

Posted in Pure weirdness at 12:05 pm by Erin

Start writing about your most bizarre dreams.

 

So last night, I had this really strange dream.

 

J and I had decided to adopt again and we had chosen an agency that for some reason didn’t send out referrals of the children before travel (not sure how this worked with courts and all, but it was a dream).  We were in Ethiopia with P and K, as well as my dad.  J and I were meeting the little girl who would be our daughter when the agency asked if we would be interested in also adopting a sibling set of a baby boy and a little girl, and the little boy was HIV+.  This is something that J and I have talked about in the past (in reality, not in the dream) but J isn’t comfortable with it and yet somehow in the dream, he jumped on the opportunity and before I knew it, I was a mom to 5.

 

We were apparently living there short-term in some house and the agency asked if we wouldn’t mind fostering a sibling set of 5 before we left: a boy of about 17, twin boys around 10, another boy around 5, and a girl around 3.  We agreed to do so and after a few days, the agency came back and said that we were eligible to adopt them all if we were interested.  Somehow we agreed to this and I was a mom of 10: 7 boys and 3 girls. 

 

I was just wondering how exactly we would fit all of these children into our 3-bedroom house when I woke up, with J on one side and K cuddled up under my chin.  And I smiled because I have the best family already.

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April 17, 2008

I’ll see your chicks and raise you one

Posted in Pure weirdness at 6:21 pm by Erin

DD may have baby chicks, but does she have a possum who crawled into her trashcan and gave birth?

Possum1_2 Possum2

I didn’t think so.

February 15, 2007

Turning red for Valentine’s Day

Posted in Pure weirdness at 9:17 am by Erin

I like being a teacher most of the time (grading millions of poorly-written lab reports notwithstanding…why can’t kids these day learn to write a grammatically proper sentence?).  It’s very rewarding to have students understand something that made no sense to them an hour earlier, and to listen to them talk intelligently about biotechnologies and the ethical issues surrounding them.

About two weeks ago, I went to get the oil changed in my car.  I dropped it off and P and I walked to the nearby T@rget (where I promptly purchased the aforementioned dino set for him–he already had the little dino/mother/egg sets).  We returned and I got into line to pay, only to be told that Mark (not his real name) had taken care of it and I was ready to go.  I asked if I could meet Mark and thank him–it turned out that Mark was a student of mine from last semester who is in management there!  Very nice of him, and an unexpected perk of teaching at the college level.

But then there are other times.  I wanted to buy a special lingerie set for Valentine’s Day.  I haven’t bought anything like it since before P was born, so I decided it was time.  So I went to Vict*ria’s S*cret and it turns out that they have this collection of new and slightly more risque lingerie.  I bought a little cami top and some panties to go with it (um, those of you who know me in person can forget that you ever read that part).  I was blithely standing in line to pay when I felt eyes upon me.  It was the cashier–a current student of mine.

It was too late to turn around and leave, too late to find some full-length white flannel nightgown with a high-buttoned neck.  So we toughed it out and she sold me a sheer, pink, peek-a-boo cami top with small lacy panties that I later wore to seduce my husband.  She was very professional about it and didn’t say anything at all to indicate that she knew me–I would almost think that it was my student’s identical twin except that I think she turned pinker than the cami and never made eye contact with me.  And tonight we have to face each other in class.

J laughed about it when I told him and reminded me that she’s never going to be able to look at me without picturing me in the pink cami with nipple slits.

I wonder if I can resign before 5:30 tonight?

January 28, 2007

Caution: Skyrocketing nerd quotient!

Posted in Pure weirdness at 7:36 am by Erin

I spent Friday and Saturday at a science conference.  The highlight of Friday’s talks included the appearance of an albino constrictor snake, pleas for reducing metal pollution to aid in sea turtle conservation, and crayfish pornography.  Oh sure, they prettied the last one up as a study of the dominance and submissiveness behavior of male crayfish, but it was really just crayfish porn.  Sometimes, I wonder if some scientists are just trying to find acceptable ways to express their weird crustacean fetishes.

I can only imagine the Google hits that I’m going to get now.  Frankly, I’m frightened.

It was a really nice conference, very small and primarily made up of biologists from state colleges in Georgia.  I got to learn about some really interesting studies that have been done.  It reminded me of why I went into science–I will never, ever get bored with it.  There’s just too much to learn!  Half of the conference was ecology-based, which isn’t something I have much experience with, but it was fascinating to learn about the ability of snakes to use infrared imaging as well as vision and about how sea turtles use magnetic orientations.  The other half was molecular biology, which is more along my line of experience.

I met some great people as well.  I’ve been getting up early to work out for about the last week (trying to do it in the evenings just wasn’t happening–too many excuses), so I was up early to get on the treadmill at the hotel.  There was a man in there who was at the same conference, so we chatted for a bit about his research and other things–his wife works at my old graduate school in a lab whose principal investigator I know.  He gave one of the talks on Saturday and has written something like 120 published papers, along with countless awards and things like that.  At a huge conference, I wouldn’t have been able to talk to him at all.  But since this one was small, I had access to him and all of the other researchers.  Since a lot of the attendees were educators, several of the posters dealt with ways of teaching science.  I got some great ideas for how to make my classes better also.

It was a great weekend.  I haven’t been to a science conference in ages (my grad school advisor never once sent me to one) and I’d forgotten how great they are.  It actually gave me an urge to get back into a lab and do some research, which I may look into in the fall.  It’s so nice to be able to do something that gives you that kind of enthusiasm.

December 17, 2006

On the second night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me…

Posted in Pure weirdness at 5:44 am by Erin

Two penguin slippers and a new blog entry!100_2429

Some women wish for jewelry.  Others wish for new cars.  Not me.  The only thing I need to make me happy is penguin slippers.

Aren’t they wonderfully tacky?  J is the best husband ever!

December 8, 2006

In the interests of starting a new life phase

Posted in Pure weirdness at 10:41 am by Erin

I’m making a confession.

You know how I posted that I love lingerie?  I should have added that it’s only true during the summer and warm weather.  When winter hits, I have another secret love: tacky flannel pajamas.  The tackier, the better.  They make me feel happy and make J roll his eyes and complain non-stop.

I bought a pair last year when I’d had yet another cycle fail.  They’re cream colored with cartoon rubber ducks on skis and wearing ski hats.  BIG rubber ducks.  I have another pair that’s pink with frogs on them.  Some of the frogs are wearing crowns (they’re frog prince pajamas).  My last pair isn’t so tacky but for the glaring yellow color of them.  I used to have a great pair that was a purple plaid pattern with brass instruments all over them, but J made me promise to get rid of them when I bought the yellow ones.

I searched a little for a pair to buy after last cycle’s stupidity but couldn’t find one.  It upset me because when I bought the ducks, there was another pair with huge pink flamingos all over them.  I gave them up in favor of the ducks.  (However, now that I’ve discovered that the pink flamingo pajamas are available on-line, I might just have to order them.) 

Then my slippers developed multiple holes all at once.  J intimated that he would be purchasing a new pair for me for Hanukkah (oh, we are so original).  While we were at the mall the other day, we walked past a kiosk that had a pair of slippers with penguin heads.  Think bunny slippers but with a BIG penguin head instead.  They had other animals also, but the penguins caught my greedy-eyed glance.

Last night I reminded J that I’d been wearing holey slippers for over a week and hadn’t bought new ones due to his hint that I might be getting a new pair.  Hanukkah starts in a week, I reminded him, and those penguin slippers ARE coming to our house.  It’s up to him as to which of us buys them.

They’re better than any tacky pajamas.

September 28, 2006

Follicular musings and dinner with a p*rn star

Posted in Pure weirdness at 7:12 am by Erin

I had trouble figuring out two topics that were LESS related than the two about which I’m writing today.  On the u/s front, I told them when I went in that I thought I was pretty far away from ovulation, probably at least 5 or more days.  Oddly enough, when they did the u/s, they found that my lining is consistent with me being at least 4 or 5 days away from ovulating.  And even more so, my biggest follicle is one on the right side measuring 12mm.  There was an 11 on the left and a couple of 10s sprinkled between the two but it was pathetic.  These findings prompted Dr. Happy to say "I guess you know your own body–you might be 6 or 7 days or more away from ovulating!"

I could hear the crickets chirping when she said that.  Somehow even an "I told you so" didn’t seem very satisfactory anymore.

Actually, I really liked that Dr. Happy asked when I’d ovulated last cycle and when Nurse L told her that it was d23, she responded, "Why are we seeing [me] so soon?"  She did reassure me that an IUI done after d20 wasn’t a problem, that P is proof of that, and that some women just take longer to respond than others.  If my monitor’s not reading at least high within the next 6 days, I’m to get another u/s, but otherwise, she said to just call when I get the peak reading.  It’ll probably start giving a high in the next couple of days, so I’m not worried.  I didn’t ask about what we’ll do about the Femara dose next cycle if this one doesn’t work, but I will when I have the IUI.  At least I won’t have to deal with the dilemma of ovulating on Yom Kippur, as that’s only 4 days away.

Onto my other topic!  J has a client who is a part-owner in a club downtown–he actually shares office space with this client, so they’re friends as well.  This weekend the club has Jenna J@mison coming for some reason.  There’s a dinner with her ahead of time and two of the people at the head table backed out, so J’s client asked if he and I wanted to go.  We have plans to go camping instead (a nice and wholesome family activity, thank you very much), so we won’t be going.  But I was a bit torn…I mean, how many chances am I going to have to meet a major p*rn star? 

If we hadn’t had plans already, I probably would have said OK because it would have been a different experience.  And how many people can say they’ve done that?  (Of course, it’s not really something I’d admit to my colleagues, either.)  Then again, part of me wanted to say OK because people think I’m a bit of a prude (if only they knew…why, just this morning, I took off my pants and let a woman I’ve only met a couple of times wand me!  Nothing fazes me anymore.) and I sometimes like to shock people by doing unexpected things upon occasion.

What would you have done in that case?

*************************************************

Oh, quick update–J’s not going to sue my colleagues husband!  He found a way around it that will probably lead to the guy’s client suing him, but J won’t be doing it directly.  All is OK for now, which is good because I really like her and our cubes are next to each other.

May 30, 2006

Strangest Google result yet

Posted in Pure weirdness at 1:26 pm by Erin

I just had a search for "ttc sesame street theme".  I don’t think I even want to know anymore about it.

***Updated to add that later this evening, someone got to me by searching for "I’m Ready – The Best of the Tomato Years CD1".  ‘Nother one I’m not going to ask about.

May 29, 2006

Fun things to do while unemployed!

Posted in Pure weirdness at 8:59 pm by Erin

Or at least unique things.

J represents a chiropractic/medical office that decided to close because of some serious animosity between the owners.  They basically abandoned the office and stopped paying their bills because they couldn’t agree on anything.  Since they’re in serious debt, all the assets need to be sold off before they’re evicted, which could be as soon as Thursday.  Everything needed to be inventoried, photographed, and listed on E*bay.  All the medical equipment (they did have an appraiser come in for the big stuff, but there were a million little things), electronic equipment, other medical supplies, all the office furniture, and all the odds and ends–which were plentiful.  No one had time to do this…

Except me.

P and I met J at the office at about 1:30 on Friday.  I think J felt guilty about the sheer magnitude of the project he’d asked me to do, and he helped all afternoon.  We were there until nearly 8 just sorting and counting and photographing.  Then we went to dinner and got home about 9:30.  At 10:30, I turned on my computer and started selling on E*bay since this stuff has to be gone by Thursday.  At 2:00 a.m., I went to bed, having listed 70 items.  I was astounded at just how long it actually took, even with their high-volume selling software (which probably saved me at least 2 hours).

Over the weekend, we got bids on about 35 of those items, totalling about $120.  Since my "pay" for this task is 20% of the final amount, I was not so pleased.  By this morning, it was up closer to $150.  Whee, I’m rolling in it now.

Today, P and I went back by ourselves to continue doing some work.  I sorted and listed and photographed another 21 items.  P watched some TV, but his big entertainment was rolling the 95cm exercise ball around, especially up and down the ramp to the lower half of the office. 

Just for reference, P is about 92 cm tall.

It’s amazing what amuses kids.  He did this for hours.

Anyway, we were there for just over 4 hours today.  So far, I’ve put in almost 15 hours on this.  The grand total as of 5 minutes ago?  $300.69, so I’ve made $60.  That works out to $4/hour.  With 2 days left on the auctions (Friday’s were 5 day, today’s were 3 day), I might make a little money.  But for now?

People, I’m not even making minimum wage.

And I’m still going to have to package and ship all the items that aren’t being offered for local pickup only (which, fortunately, is a good many of the very large items).

If J ever wonders if I love him, he needs only look back on this task and worry no more.

But if he ever asks me to do something like this again…

May 25, 2006

Fish tank fertility

Posted in Pure weirdness at 7:44 am by Erin

I swear that all the fertility vibes in our house are centered around our aquarium.  Yesterday we had snail eggs, which will apparently take a few weeks to hatch if they were fertilized.  This morning, P and I were feeding the fish when we noticed 2 baby platys swimming around.  One is all orange, the other is mostly orange with black fins and tail.  Tiny, tiny little things, only a couple of millimeters long.  I rescued them (the dalmation fish were looking at them and licking their chops–or would have been, if they had tongues) and put them in the separate chamber to keep them safe while they grow.

I told J that from now on, we can only do it around the fish tank.

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