May 26, 2009

Some days

Posted in The musings of Erin at 5:15 pm by Erin

On some days, there is just too much testosterone around my house.  A husband, two sons, two male dogs.

I was never a girly-girl but sometimes, I get a little overwhelmed.

'Nuff said.

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May 21, 2009

Houston, we have a plan

Posted in TTC woes at 5:55 pm by Erin

We met with our RE, Dr. Wonderful, on Tuesday afternoon.  To make a nice circle, we had just completed K's readoption that morning–it was like we had completed the legal addition of our second child just in time to go talk about trying to have a third.  The appointment came up so quickly that we didn't have time to find a babysitter, so we had to bring K with us.  I got us checked in and since no one else was in the waiting room, we brought K in.  Otherwise, J was going to play with him downstairs and I would call his cell phone when it was time to go in to see Dr. Wonderful.  They brought us back so quickly that I didn't even have time to finish updating our insurance information!

We talked to him about our family, how wonderfully the boys are doing, how our adoption went.  He was thrilled to meet K and hear about our experience.  I told him about how things had been since we were last there in October 2006 (it didn't seem possible that it could have been that long ago, but it was), including my miscarriage last year and the chemical pregnancy last cycle.  I also mentioned that I've been ovulating earlier on Metformin than ever before in my life–around d20, when it used to be around d28-30.  Then we set up a plan.

Based on our history and since it has been so long since we were there, he'd like us to do one Clomid/IUI cycle before moving on to IVF.  He doesn't think it will do a whole lot in terms of pregnancy but it will give us a chance to see if I'm still responding the same way to Clomid, see how my hormone levels are looking, and do both a saline sonohystogram and a semen analysis all in the course of the cycle.  Since we need to do those before doing IVF, this will at least keep the "testing" cycle from being completely wasted.  And he did point out that if we get lucky, we've saved many thousands of dollars.

He still doesn't feel like an injectables + IUI cycle is worth doing for me.  As he said, we'd have to keep the hormone doses very low because of my PCOS and it comes with more risks than a Clomid cycle and a much bigger cost.  Plus, we still aren't sure that I don't have problems with my right uterine tube and it might be useless.  He would rather get the information we need from the Clomid cycle and then, if it doesn't work, start BCP for the IVF as soon as I get my period.  We talked about how to keep the doses low to avoid OHSS, about the risks and benefits of an elective single embryo transfer (benefits are huge but the success rate drops from about 65% to 40% at their clinic–regardless, all three of us would still prefer to do that), and about a timeline.

I hadn't realized how concerned J was about the miscarriage and chemical pregnancy until the appointment.  He brought it up twice in the context of being concerned about losing another pregnancy.  Dr. Wonderful thinks that I probably have some endometriosis, which we've considered as a possibility in the past, and that's what's causing the losses.  He doesn't think I need to have laproscopic surgery since it doesn't cause immobilizing pain, and that IVF will help solve that problem.  We've agreed to consider progesterone in the post-ovulatory stage of the Clomid/IUI cycle, just in case.

J and I had talked more about it after I made the appointment but before we went in.  He wants to wait until he has a job before we do IVF.  We can afford it now and still be OK financially but it's better not to take a chance with the one of us who has a job.  And he'd rather wait to make sure we can afford FETs in case the first IVF doesn't work and we have frozen embryos.  It was hard to accept that, since I thought we had a timeline in place, but he's right and so we'll wait until he has a job.  We mentioned this to Dr. Wonderful and he said he wasn't concerned.  I'm still young and we're looking at starting IVF immediately after doing a single Clomid/IUI cycle, so it's not like we'll have a long wait once we decide to begin.

I feel good about the plan.  It seems reasonable to me to keep our costs low and get the tests done during the Clomid/IUI cycle, and then start IVF with eSET afterwards.  I would like to start sooner but with the job market so lousy, it also makes sense to wait until J gets a job.  So we'll wait but there is a plan in place.

May 18, 2009

Um

Posted in TTC woes at 7:29 am by Erin

Yesterday, J and I discussed doing IVF this summer.  I said that I would call today and make an appointment with our RE to figure out the plan.  I mentioned that we probably wouldn't be able to get an appointment for a couple of weeks.

I thought about it once or twice yesterday, but that was it.

This morning, I forgot about it until I logged onto Bloglines and saw a mention of IVF.  My hands started to shake.  I called my clinic before I could think about it too much.  My hands shook some more.  I chatted with the scheduler and she said "I know this is really soon, but he had a cancellation.  Can you come in tomorrow at 3 p.m.?"

"Sure, that would be great," I said.

Now my entire body is shaking, and I'm not sure if I'm excited or terrified.

May 16, 2009

Is it really sick

Posted in The musings of Erin at 4:12 pm by Erin

to get a little thrill out of the "Don't be ridiculous" look that J gave me when I said I was glad that I didn't get a milkshake at lunch today because my butt didn't need it?

Tell me honestly, because my heart went pitty-pat.

May 11, 2009

Hope you all had a nice Mother’s Day

Posted in Momming at 11:09 am by Erin

Because mine sucked, for various reasons (in no particular order):

1. Finding out that my favorite aunt has cancer.

2. Recovering from Saturday's migraine, which always leaves me feeling fuzzy-headed.

3. J being gone for 5 days and not getting home until last night (read as: the 5th day in a row that I was home alone with both kids).

4. Having a HUGE fight with J after the kids went to bed.

5. Finals' week.

I have to say that Friday was a much better Mother's Day.  P's class had muffins and juice for moms as they came to drop off the kids, and both kids brought home the Mother's Day gifts they made in school, which were adorable.  I am a sucker for little picture frames with their names on them and paper flowers.  Can't help it.  So I'm choosing Friday as my Mother's Day, and forgetting that yesterday ever happened.